Sweet Dreams
by mistressofcliche
Summary: An assignment leads to Kaneki and Hide becoming parents for a week. Set pre-series, back in high school.


"Welcome, class, to today's course of parenting 101." The teacher at the front of the room held up a single egg, smirking as a collective chorus of groans was heard. "Now, now, it's not that bad. I'm at least letting you pick your partner for this project. Then you can all come up here and adopt your child."

Chairs scrapped against the floor, students hurrying to team up with those they knew well. Laughter and soft chatter filled the air as the class rearranged itself, taking seats closer to their new partners. One lone boy didn't make any move at all to do the same, too busy doodling in his notebook. He didn't have to, though; because as he had expected, his partner came to him, plopping down loudly in the vacant seat in front of him.

"Oi, were you just going to leave me by myself, Kaneki? That's just mean!"

He glanced up, his pen tapping against his chin. "Leave you by yourself? No, I don't think I could even if I wanted to. You'd find some way to make the impossible possible. Wouldn't you, Hide."

The other boy, Hide, puffed out his chest, grinning. "Well, duh. Even if I had to talk the teacher's ear off. You. Me. Partners?"

"Partners," decided Kaneki, returning to his drawing with a little hum. "So, why don't you go choose our child, dear. I'm drawing up some ideas to baby proof the house." Almost absently Kaneki raised a hand to his chin.

Hide scrunched up his nose and snagged the notebook from his friend. "You are not, liar. Woah, what is this? These are …"

Flushing, Kaneki snatched the notebook back. "Nothing. You saw nothing, Hide."

"But, dude, _dude_."

"No, Hide." He hastily hid the evidence away in his desk. "Now, forget about that and let's go get our baby."

Shifting gears easily, Hide wiggled his eyebrows in what he probably imagined was a seductive way. "Or we could go home and make one if you prefer, darling."

Kaneki stood up, face slightly red from second-hand embarrassment, and told him in no uncertain terms, "I prefer to adopt."

After everyone had received an egg, the teacher went on to elaborate what would be expected of them and how long they would have to care for their new baby egg. It seemed they had to manage a budget as well as make sure their egg-child was probably cared for. If there was even a slight crack on it by the end of the week, their grades would reflect that.

Frowning at his new child, Kaneki wondered if he should seriously consider that baby proofing after all. If he ever took it home, there was the very real possibility his child would become scrambled eggs by morning. So that left either hiding his child, which didn't appeal to him and actually set him on edge instead, or leaving it in the questionable hands of the child's other father.

Well, there was no question as to what he preferred. "All right, Hide, looks like you'll be caring for Eggbert at night." Hide suddenly looked like he was trying hard not to laugh, and Kaneki paused, wondering if he had said something funny. "What?"

"Did you just name our son without even asking me?" The teasing lilt to that familiar voice had Kaneki hiding behind his hands. "You did, you so did! Man, Kaneki, I didn't peg you for the kind to have such an awful naming sense. But now that I am fully aware of this travesty, you are never naming anything ever again." Bleached blond hair fell into sparkling brown eyes as Hide leaned forward, pulling the make-shift crib their egg-child slept in closer for inspection. "I think we should call him Haise."

Kaneki peeked out from between his fingers. The rest of the class was happily debating this with new their partners, and here he was arguing over completely absurd names with his dorky best friend. Not that he would have changed any of it for the world. "Let me guess," Kaneki started, moving their little egg back to where it had been - safer, securer on his side of the desk rather than caught in-between, "you got the idea from how 'pearl white' are new son is?"

In retaliation, Hide mock gasped. "The thought never even crossed my mind!"

"Right." Shaking his head, Kaneki picked up the egg from its crib and spun it in his hands. "Well, I guess I could grow to like the name Haise. Even if it's worse than mine," he hurried to add on when Hide's smile turned the tiniest bit smug, "but what should we put down for a surname?"

"Why, wouldn't that be my name?" Hide asked innocently, reaching forward to coyly brush a strand of Kaneki's hair aside. The better to see the look of indigence that lanced through stormy grey eyes. "Since he'll be living with me, after all. Only fair, darling."

Scoffing, Kaneki asked, "Sure, that's all well and good, but who's going to be taking care of our child when you're off 'working', dear?" Earlier, when the teacher had asked them to choose a career to determine their budget, he had chosen 'housewife'. It meant a smaller earned income, but it also meant he had more time to spend with his son. A wise choice in the long run, since Hide had jumped at the chance to become a 'private detective'. They would manage somehow, especially since they didn't have to pay a nanny fee this way.

"Well, if you insist," conceded Hide, making a sweeping gesture with his hand. "Ladies first, after all."

"Of course," and Kaneki signed his last name with a flourish. "Now then, let's talk about food …"

They argued back and forth for a while, hidden smiles between their words, as they hashed out the best living plan they could come up with on short notice. If they received a few odd looks from the rest of the class, and perhaps even from the teacher, they paid them no heed and continued acting like the most authentic of married couples. A couple trying their best to learn how to raise this mysterious being called a child.

Once they had sorted out the majority of what the week would entail, Kaneki hummed in thought and softly quoted, "Tis hatched and shall be so."

Hide gave him a curious one-over, prompting, "Oh, what's that one from?"

Scratching at a flushed cheek, Kaneki explained, "The Taming of the Shrew. It's, uh, something of a love story. A really unique one." He touched a finger to his chin, laughing slightly. "Not that I, you know, think this is the start of our own love story. Or whatever you're thinking! It's just … that line seemed fitting."

Eyebrows raised, Hide said, "Yeah? Too bad. I was hoping we could have a romantic evening under the stars and teach junior all about the constellations tonight."

Kaneki lit up at the thought of spending the night over at Hide's and rushed to tell him, "Well, I think that can be arranged."

"Great! I wouldn't want to let my little shrew get away, now would I?"

It was hard to tell if Hide was being serious or not, and so Kaneki settled with, "You shouldn't have to worry about such a thing, not if you've tamed your shrew properly at least." Then immediately he started fussing with the small blanket in the crib, tucking the egg-child in for a nap. "Sweet dreams, Haise," he whispered, a gentle smile meant for Hide alone now shared with their official 'child'.


End file.
